It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
