Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
