you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This house was built for laser tag.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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