i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
