Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
