Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
