he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
