the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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