put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
