i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
