I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
