I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
