And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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