Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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