my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
