he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
