But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
