Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
