East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
