I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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