Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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