i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
