ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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