I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
