Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
