I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
