I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
