the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
