My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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