Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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