You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
