she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i've created a new STD.
This is my gift to your gina
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
