I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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