We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
