Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
