rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
