Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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