how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
