Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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