Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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