Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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