Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
