Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
