do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
