made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
