So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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