Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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