is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
