Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
pray to the hookup gods
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
