there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
