We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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