Where is the hickey?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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